Unboxing Perspective

Dear Friend,

As Christmas is so very soon (15 days!! ) the anticipation builds until I nearly feel like I am going to burst. It truly is my favorite time of the year and I start as early as August collecting things for others and getting all things planned so that it is a lovely and not so stressful for the season. This year, however, there was an unexpected stress- life.  Alberta has seen an economic slump, as they do, and that meant that Adam’s job was called to a halt until this slump (we, the Albertans are still in it) is over. Needless to say once I heard the news, the word “lovely” wasn’t what I was thinking. I mean, I know that being called to Him means nothing ever is supposed to be easy, but we were getting comfortable in our routine and such, and does this need to happen at Christmas time?

On one of the days that I was  praying, “Lord, now what?” I was babysitting a few children. One boy found a box and began to play with it. It was an old mandarin orange box with nothing special but the imagination that the child put into it. As I watched him giggle and find different ways to play with the box, I got uncomfortable.  “Lord, what should we do? What am I to do as a wife to encourage Adam? Do I talk to others about it? How will we pay the bills?” I was inwardly allowing myself to freak out as I watched.  “I don’t want to fail, Lord. I don’t want to be needy with other people.. I don’t want Adam to look a certain way to others…etc etc.”

A few days later, after I had determined that, no, one cannot live on beans and  kraft dinner for the next five years (I told you that I am dramatic) and calmed my heart and talked to Adam – the image of the  child in the mandarin box kept nagging at me. And finally, when I was seriously getting annoyed, I asked God, “What do you want me to get from this?”, a one word answer is what I got.

Perspective.

This child was wise enough to see that though,to me,this box had no other uses than to hold things, he saw that there could be more to the box. I now, I must be losing you by this point, but it made sense to me… let me explain. Adam and I could take this job situation as a bad thing and freak out. Well, too late for the freak out on my part, but we could both stop and have perspective on what this could mean.  It’s healthy to take time to re-evaluate what it is that you are doing in your life. Sometimes we are to stop and then push on knowing that where we are and what we are doing is what we are called to do with a new zeal, and other times we are told to stop and see that there are things that need changing or meditation. Sometimes we get so caught up in the planning (ahem, I’ll just shove my Christmas planner 2015 under my couch now..) that we forget the here and now.  God has provided work for Adam and for me for the time being so that I need not worry about it. The future is uncertain but bright, as there are many ways you can look at a box.;)

Your over-sharing friend, 

Summer

See, I am doing a new thing!

    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

    and streams in the wasteland.

-Isaiah 43:19

Cutting Onions and Getting Over Myself

Dear Friend,
Lately I have been having a very hard tine writing, and now I am here to  tell you why. Because I didn't want to be honest and real, and rather light and jokey so everything I wrote ended up looking like something off of my middle school diary entries- nonsensical and mopey. So, here is the truth, (it still may be nonsensical and mopey, but it will be real life.) the month of October was hard. I think as a new wife I feel the need to be in the "honeymoon" stage and let the whole world how much I love my husband, Adam. I do indeed love my husband, more than any other human, but we are officially out of the stage of rainbows and lollipops. October was a month of "oh, that makes me mad!", "so this is what conflict looks like" and "why are the clothes on the floor- again?!". It is an adjustment to be someone's other half. It is an adjustment to humble yourself enough to realize that you have to say sorry first. It is an adjustment to meet the other person's needs before your own.
I didn't  expect it to be easy, but I also didn't expect it to take as much effort as it did. I was frustrated that I didn't seem to naturally want to give of myself, my time, my love. It bothered me that others seemed to know their spouse so well that they would just get along and in my mind these wives would never be upset at their husbands for leaving their clothes on the floor. ;)
On a particularly low day, I was off to women's Bible study and as I sat in the classroom, one other lady sat down to our normally large group of ladies. She informed me that she was going to be teaching the lesson that day and that we would be waiting a few minutes to start. We sat in silence as I knew this lady to be quiet,elderly, scholarly and a "no nonsense" type; to say the least, I was uncomfortable. As the time ticked by no other ladies showed so she glanced at me over her glasses and we began her study of the "Fall of Man". As I said before, I wasn't having the best of days and as we began to discuss Adam (not the husband, but the first man on earth) and his downfall. I must not have been doing a very good job trying to stay chipper because she stopped and said, "Now Summer, is it?" To in which I looked to her with my plastered on happy face and smiled. She frowned and said, "Are you married? Where are you from? Why are you here in Sexsmith?" Needless to say, we did not get to any more of the notes and just began to talk about our lives. I then realized how badly I had wanted someone to talk to and tell me that it was okay that I wasn't yet the wife I wanted to be. I ended up spilling my guts to this poor lady and she in return listened and gave me some advice. She told me about her late husband and how she learned so much from him, even when he wasn't all that she wanted in him. She also said, "Sometimes you just have to cut some onions and have a good cry. Then get over yourself because you have more important things in life to accomplish than winning the wife of the year award." She went on to say,

•  Always give as much love to others as you can, then ask God for more;
• Always apologize when you know you are wrong
• Always take time for yourself to reflect on what He is doing
• Always stop and see that conflict should end in resolution and resolution is a beautiful thing
• Always remember you are worth love and kindness. 

As I began to walk home, this lady stopped me in her car and insisted she drive me home. I told her how much it meant to me to have her encouragement and for her to ask me how I was. She then replied, "I think many of us forget that to encourage another person in doing good is in turn giving us joy in the process." 

May this upcoming month be real and raw and a chance for us to encourage those around us and let ourselves be encouraged. 

Your not-so- perfect nomad,

Summer

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." -Hebrews 10:23-25

Friends Who Brush Together, Stick Together.

Dear Friend,
I have always been a loud mouth. I remember many first days of school and repeating this phrase over and over in my head, "Don't say anything, just observe and be quiet... Don't say anything, just observe and be quiet! Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet!" It never worked though. I would lock my stuff in the locker and have to talk to the girl beside mine to help me (this happened too many times. In high school, I made a friend because of it. I think she felt bad about how incapable I was) or I would have to pipe in for an idea in some class--because you know, I'm a loud mouth and I want to be heard and I want you to like me!
And though I am a loud mouth, and being a loud mouth helps one become noticed, I have realized that there are certain things that happen in our lives with our friendships.
 We all get tired.
"Tired of friends?!" You ask?
Well, sure, maybe that too, but we get tired of trying. Even us loud mouths get tired of trying to make friends and want to give up. We all miss those days when we were younger and we could be hanging out with a random kid and after you follow them down the slide you are bffs for life. Growing up shows us that friendships get harder; harder to maintain and it gets harder and harder to open up.

Me and Charissa- aka Toothpaste Girl ;)

I remember my first day of college, I was very close to puking as I tried desperately not to look like I wanted friends. I was doing the whole, "Don't say anything, just observe and be quiet..." but mostly it was this, "Don't say anything stupid, Dont say anything stupid!" Darn it Summer! You messed up! You totally freaked that girl out with saying HI like you just drank a Red Bull in two gulps! " I remember brushing my teeth and feeling rather stupid about pretending not to want friends and all and as I was ranting to myself I saw a girl in a pink pj set with very swish blonde hair and I said, "HEY! I'm Summer! I don't think I met you yet!" This swish blonde haired girl looked at me with her mouth full of toothpaste and, after she spit, said,
"Hi. I'm Charissa."
Nothing more, nothing less. I was sure she hated me and I literally wanted to be her spit so I could sink into the drain. I remember thinking she was way too cool for me and that I should have never said hi. Losers say hi etc etc. As I went to bed that night I resorted to stuffing my face in a pillow and crying my guts out. This story ends well as this swish girl and I awkwardly said, "Hey..." to each other which lead us to talking about how we both were pastor's kids and nomads, which ended up being one of the best friendships that I still have today.
Now, why did I tell you this long, heartfelt story of my bestie? Because every friendship takes work and it needs to start with someone making the first (potentially very awkward) move.  I want to remember what a journey it was to become so close to someone. It took time, and effort, and  bonding, and being real and caring about that other person.
I have realized in myself that I struggle with new beginnings. I struggle trying to make friends and be real and open myself up and let people see me for who I am- ultimately a big mess that needs God more than anything else.
I have realized that others want to be friends with you but have this same problem, the problem of being open. To not shut off others, to not say, "Meh! I have a great group of friends already.." or to not be willing to get past what we initially think of others. When we close ourselves off to developing friendships, we close ourselves off to wonderful potential.
Now, not all the people we get to know will be our kindred spirits. I think we are blessed if we get to meet even one person that we have that connection with and it lasts. All I am saying is that though I have been in many circumstances where I was the new girl and have been very tired of trying again to make friendships- it's all worth it in the end. We are called to "loved our neighbor as our own selves"... I think that also means that we are called to get to know our neighbors and invest in the lives that are around us. To not waste time being friendly but aloof.

So, will you join me in being awkward and making the first move? Getting out there as we continue to grow up and friendships need to be sought out? I heard brushing your teeth beside someone makes you friends...

Your overly friendly nomad,

Summer

"What is a friend? I will tell you . . . . it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself."-Frank Crane

I'm a Material Girl, yo!

Dear Friend,
It has come to my realization that I love stuff. I can actually remember the first time I was amazed by stuff.. this was at my friend Melanie's house when I was five. She had everything and more and a bed that had a step ladder to help her get up to it. (I was very impressed by this as a young'in) I asked my mother when it was time to go why Melanie had so much more things than we did? Not so fair I should say as I was the same age and we were friends? My mother responded in that her dad worked at a job that paid more money  than my dad's and the conversation was over... but my love for stuff did not.
I love stuff.
 I love going to other people's houses and seeing other people's stuff. I love magazines that talk about organizing all the stuff. I make lists of Christmas stuff to buy in July, (I have half of Adam's Christmas gifts already actually...) because I love stuff. 

Recently Adam and I have refinanced and saw that we needed to spend less, pay off more. My wife self was very encouraging and optimistic when this all went down but my stomach did flip-flops. I love stuff! I love shopping! Adam and I love these things together. Throughout my life I have been taught to be frugal and to find deals, and this is helpful but never stops one from loving things. Normally I think I have a good handle on this,  but sometimes I slip. I notice that I slip when I go on Pinterest too long and start to look down at my clothes and sigh, or go to a friend's house and see their bookshelves lined with all the new books and I get book envy. However, I am pleasantly surprised how well everything has gone. On a tight budget we have actually enjoyed other things together that I would have never noticed if not for this change. There have been more walks, more talking, better yard sales (as we only give ourselves a certain budget) and together we look on the free ads for things that we could use. ( our lamps were free from a lady who wanted them gone!) It brings us together in a way that I saw my parents bond, but I suppose I was too young to understand. Being "poor" has brought a new focus- off of "stuff accumulation" but living contentedly. As I sit here on the couch my sister and law and husband sold to us I feel no current needs or wants. 
I really want to remember this simple time of life for my family. I want to remember that things don't make us content and that this stage in my life is lovely. I love my hotplate for a stove, I love finding spare change in the wash and using it for coffee money, I love that I get to experience all of this new with my husband and (free) kitten. 
Again, I love stuff. I just want to remind myself, and hopefully encourage you, to see that stuff isn't what we want to strive for in the long run. I have noticed a change in me that is good and I want you to feel the same way that I do. 
Maybe you aren't needing to slim down on your finances, but maybe you can see why it would be a good idea to step back and see what you do have. (I have a sudden urge to #blessed ;) ) It's so much better to live in contentment then to want what isn't there. It helps you to be creative, to be resourceful, to be free of want and it gives you the opportunity to be shown by Him that He cares for you. (refer back to the free lamps that we really needed) 

We all have our moments when we are tempted to be jealous of our friend Melanie's step ladder that goes up to her big ol' bed- but I dare to say that she is no longer envied by me. 

Less isn't always more, but lately it has been for me.

Your Hippy Nomad,

Summer 

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them." (John 2:15) 

Laundry Rooms Hold Secrets

Dear Friend,
I remember from a young age scrambling to clean up the house before company came. Mom would be making the food and we girls were at her disposal to help out by vacuuming or whatever else was out of order before the guests arrived. (We were usually the ones that made the mess so  it was well deserved that we help clean)
As Adam and I have been getting settled in to our apartment the opportunity for us to host was upon us and flashbacks to helping Mom was coming to mind. Laundry wasn't done so I deemed the laundry room as our "junk room" and shut the door to the mess right before the couple came.
As time passed with the couple we began to talk about "lived in houses" and the fact that they are never sparkling like our Pinterest walls may suggest. This particular couple was the type that you just love right away (example, if I had fallen on my face they wouldn't make it awkward but would laugh along with you.. that type of thing) and to be honest, I felt like a fraud. Here I was talking along about messes while all they saw were washed floors and prepared  dessert that I had ready on a plate. I should have had a big tattoo naming me, "HYPOCRITE" as I laughed along. So I did the big no no of the times. I stopped the conversation and moved everyone to the laundry room. I wanted them to see that we weren't put together, and though I am sure they already knew this, there was something so freeing in being honest and real with such a menial thing. I knew that these people would most likely not care about the state of my laundry room.. but I cared about their perception of what they saw.
You see, the laundry room doesn't matter in the long run, but I am realizing more and more that we live  in a world full of great perception warpers. Just give yourself a glance at Facebook, Instagram, our closets even! We show the highlights by making statuses that uplift our lives so that others admire. We delete photos of ourselves that are unflattering so that people only see our best angles. We stand on chairs to take a picture of the only thing we have ever eaten that has kale in it in months (kale is so bland... do people really like eating it? ) and hashtag it #eatinghealthy #lost20pounds practically hitting the like button for other people. I have actually gotten people messaging me before asking me to like their instagram photos... I mean, come on right?!
 I mean, I get it...It's hard to  stop my fingers from rearranging my coffee cup to get the best angle for my instagram but I just don't want to be a liar or doing things to get other people's approval. I can and will live my life with a less than Pinterest worthy birthday party or less than on fleek eyebrows. I hope that as friends we can together get along just fine without having my laundry room closed but rather open knowing that we all have our imperfections..

Soon to be folding a hamper full of laundry, 

Your Hippy,

Summer

"And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”"- Luke 12:15

Wifey Award of the Year?

Dear Friend,

This morning in my devotions I read, "Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (1 Cor.10:31)

I really don't have a lot more to say about that devotional, but that little verse stuck out to me. Friend, I have been married now for a whooping two and bit weeks now (practically my 25th anniversary in Bible school years-- kidding! ;) )   and I already feel like I needed that reminder from God this morning. You see, I think I have been overdoing a lot of everything in order to please Adam. I want to think that it's because I am so in love with who he is and what a wonderful man he is, (and he truly is wonderful) but I am beginning to see that he has become an idol in my heart. For example, on a particular day I was determined to be the Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart of all women and clean the house and make the best meal I have ever made and have a super-cute-outfit-that-matched-the-drapes type day so that when Adam got home he would say, "By golly, what a perfect wife I have! How could life get any better than this?!" ( my imagination runs wild on such occasions) And though it was crazy, I was expecting "the glory of Adam to shine down on me". So when Adam came home from a long day of working seeing his wife smiling at him with all the hopes that the scenario in her head would pan out in real life-- he was doomed!

I am putting a lot of pressure on Adam to be my "god" and if I was honest with this verse I read this morning, my version would read, "Whatever you do, do it for the glory of Adam." I have been cleaning the bathrooms for the praise of Adam, I have been making meals for the glory of Adam... etc etc. Not only is that bad that I am putting God second in my relationships, it is putting a whole lot of pressure on Adam to be the b
est husband ever or else I could potentially have a mental break down and berate myself until my dying days! (I joke of course, but truly I would be a drama queen if I kept this up.)

I so love my life right now. It feels so good to be right where God wants me with my new husband doing all the new things. I am sure I could make excuses as to why my husband is so important to me because the"honeymoon stage" hasn't gone away yet or whatever, but I know better. I  know that God has blessed me with Adam to be his wife, however, as a wife I also have a bigger responsibility to be focused on Him and what He sees fit for me to change and do with the time I was given. These last few weeks have taught me already so much about myself and about Adam. I now know that for the rest of my life I will be learning how to be a better wife, and a better servant of Christ. I so badly want to glorify God with my life and I realize better now that that will include blessing Adam in the every day.

Your over-eager newly married hippy, 

Summer 

Not "Just a ..." Kinda Person

Dear Friend,
I had just walked in the room when the C's household was a buzz with a new voice. "Hey, who are you?" said the lady in the pretty dress. I begin to introduce myself, "Hi! I'm.." My boss interrupts and says, "Oh, she's just the nanny." The conversation ended and I said "Nice to meet you" quickly and went to pick up Gordon.
Something thoroughly bothered me by this, but I'm not sure what it was. I pinpointed it from my neighbour who came over  today to have a play date with Gordon and her son. We were getting a bit more personal and she goes on to say, "Summer... I'm just a mom, that's all I am." I looked at this beautiful mother who has much more than mothering under her belt and said, " Well, I see so much more than that..."
The problem had been pinpointed.
 When the new lady at the house asked who I was and I was classified me as just a nanny, it hurt because I am so much more than that. My neighbour is so much more than a mother. Now, let me clarify. Being a mom is  a huge job and a very admirable job. Being a nanny is also a lot of work and has so many wonderful things attached to it.

HOWEVER, 

we as humans are not just one sided, flat characters.

 My neighbour is a giver, a gardener, a listener, a caretaker, a coffee addict, a horse rider, a friend etc.
 She is not "just a" at  anything.
 I am not "just a" nanny, I am more than that.
I am a sister, a book lover, a tea drinker, a kindred spirit, a list maker, a bargain hunter etc.

We are so much more than what we (or others)  limit ourselves to or as. We have so much to give and we have so much to learn.

You are more than the labels people put on you, you have a story that has meaning, that has purpose! I hope this encouraged you, it's not my normal "I fell in a bathtub" rant, but it has been on my heart ever since the first comment was made. May we never forget that we are complex characters on an adventure that has meaning and purpose. May we not forget that to give of ourselves is such a blessing!

Your very passionate hippy,

Summer

[God] saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began. ~2 Timothy 1:9

Falling in Love (with two guys at the same time...)

Dear Friend,

"I love you" was a sentence I was extremely nervous about saying to anyone, let alone to a person that I felt completely vulnerable to. When I first said it to him, I said it so quickly, so rushed, that as he was falling asleep in my arms I realized it was too late. I had said it and I wish I hadn't.
Our story starts with me, being my awkward self, meeting the sweetest boy I have ever met. I knew that once I saw those big brown eyes that I was done for, but didn't say the "L" word for as long as I could resist. We hung out every day, 8 am to 6 at night. We went on long walks together, we read (and completed) Mary Poppins, Pippy Longstockings and Peter Pan; he saw the good and the bad and loved me still. He was the reason I could scrub tubs, clean up puke, kiss fevered heads. No, this guy it isn't my fiance, it's Gordon.
It is such a great feeling to wake up in the morning and know that I am needed by another human, to be loved as babies only can. I heard his first word, I saw his first step, I noticed his first tooth. The love came crashing in, and I couldn't stop it. When moms would  stop and say, "He looks so much like you", my heart would explode with pride even though he wasn't, isn't, "my baby". I was warned by other nannies about how I needed to make sure I distanced myself, but I was toast. The days turned into months, and the love grew. 

Then there is Adam. I don't remember my first meeting with Adam, all I remember is that we became friends quickly and about a month in I was giving him advice for this and that. (This means I am comfortable talking your ear off) It took us two years and other relationships to get together, and Adam didn't need me and wasn't dependent on me. It was a lot more of a healthy relationship and the biggest reason for me to come and be a nanny for Gordon when Adam decided to move to Alberta. I didn't say the "L" word to this man quickly, but I was pretty sure he was going to be a part of my future after being accepted as a nanny in the north. 
There have been two relationships that I have been a part of that I have loved and cherished in this last year, but one must end so that the other can flourish. I'm not saying that you can't be a nanny and a wife at the same time, just that I can't be a nanny and a wife at the same time. I dread the fact that I will be saying goodbye to my pal, Gordon, in 29 days. I know though, that I need to move on from this chapter in my life and become excited for the next. I need to let go of my selfishness and belief that I take better care of Gordon than Gordon's mom does, because, even if I was,  he will always love his mom more than his nanny. 

Change is good, change is needed. Change is adventure and how can a nomad say "no" to that? What about you though? Is there change going on in your life that you are resisting? Let's let go together and trust that the next chapter will be a great one. 

Your soon-to-be jobless and married hippy,

Summer

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Romans 15:13)

Dear Me

Dear 13 year old Summer,

First of all, I love you. I wish you loved me the way I do now because it really is the better way to live. You are special, you are worth getting to know, and you aren't ugly. You have great talents and, sadly, you are wasting them by being so concerned about what others are thinking about you. There are so many people out there that need you to be less selfish- go impact, not be the norm.

 You will realize again and again that people aren't going to love you the way that they should.... There will be some really great friends, but mostly just duds at this age and they aren't going to care a lick about how things go for you. That isn't to say that you shouldn't be kind to them, because you always should. (always, always be kind to people, Summer. I can't stress this enough. Your character is built on being kind to those who don't deserve it) But, you shouldn't be bothered when you are upset about something and they aren't there for you. Some of it is maturity, but most of it is how you choose your friends..

Speaking of choosing your friends, you have this thing that really isn't a great trait. You love finding people that aren't very nice and being friends with them... Honey, you are going to get burned. Really, really badly. You think that this is a good thing because you are being kind,  but what you are doing is just making yourself have lower self esteem and you believe lies that aren't true about you. Please, stop trying to validate bad behavior because you are letting people walk all over you. It's tough now, but I wish you could see what a benefit it is to surround yourself with people who actually care to ask you how your day was.

Speaking about people who actually care.. there is Mom. You lash out at Mom a lot at this age and I really wish you would stop. She really cares about you and doesn't deserve your anger and frustration, vent it in your fuzzy diary with the lock on it.  She  will be one of your best friends and confidants, but at this age you butt heads. She deserves better... treat her with more respect.

 Boys, don't even go there. I know you are shy at this point about them, and thank goodness for that! Be cool with "just being friends", it's alright to be that. The funny diary entries about Jason are cute though and really kind of hilarious now...you'll end up years later reading them to your sisters and they will snort with laughter, so it's worth it. Just as an fyi, you don't end up with a man from Africa and have mocha babies, but instead you meet your very white best friend and unknowingly fall in like, that falls into love, that falls into engagement and becomes worth all the "you're fat/ugly/stupid" comments that come your way. He really thinks you're great!

Also- I know you want to be mature... I know that you want to "keep up" with the other girls... but you love Disney and dolls and colouring books. And there is nothing wrong with that! You will still like Disney and dolls and colouring books when you are 22. (And be much less ashamed about it at 22!)

Remember to talk to God, ask Him what to do and be brave. Soak up as much as you can about Him. He is your source of joy.
 You are at such a fun age and you have so much that you will learn.You are braver than you think, you are loved more than you know.

Love,

 22 year old Me.

"Shhh"ings From God

Dear Friend,
I'm a bit of a restless spirit. I have a hard time enjoying routine and spontaneity really calls to me through every day life. The Sunday of last week the speaker says we are going to do something a bit different and  have a "prayer Sunday". I was interested, I was pumped.  At one point the speaker asks the congregation to share what God has been telling them lately. I  listen interestingly while others say things like, "We feel called to go to the mission field...", "He has been showing me that I need to.." etc etc. While this is happening my mind is going in overdrive and I'm asking God, "Hey! What  is it that you want ME to do for you God? What is my purpose?" Do you want Adam and I to head to the mission field?" My thoughts begin to be pulled to myself and Adam in a jungle somewhere in the Amazon where I have stumbled across a hopeless child in need of rescuing... My attention gets pulled back into reality as the speaker says, "Now take some time to ask God what it is that He is telling you to do.." Excitedly I repeat what I was talking to God about before,
"Hey God! What do-"
"Summer. Stop."
"What God?! I'm excited! What is it that you-"
"Summer, shhhh."
"But, I-"
"Trust Me."
"That's what you want to tell me? That's it? To trust You?"
"Yes. Trust Me. Trust that where you are is where you are supposed to be, and what you are doing is what you should be doing. Trust Me, Summer. I know what I am doing."
"Who says I'm not? I am aren't I?
"I think we both know that you want your life to feel like it has purpose right now, and it does, but you aren't seeing the big picture daughter. I need you to trust me. Breathe and trust me."

The speaker gets up and asks us to sing and I feel a bit heavyhearted. I know that God wants me to be still and to trust, but those things are hard for me to do.  There are changes that are coming about  in my life but trusting takes a lot out of me. A lot out of my hands and into His.
Still a bit uneasy with chat with God, I ask Adam what God told him in the service. "Not much really," he says, "He just told me to trust Him..."

Huh. Okay. I get the point, God. No Amazon forests for Adam and I for awhile,but doing something that is a whole lot tougher on me anyway. Trusting that He has a plan.

I love me some humble pie! You can come over and eat it with me if you'd like.

Love your not-so-submissive nomad,

Summer

" Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation,  now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ." -1 Peter 2:1-5

Resolutions... in February?

Hey Friend,

Every year since I can remember I have made resolutions/goals for myself for the new year. I know that there are a lot of haters out there that aren't fans of the idea of resolutions at the beginning of the year, and I get it, if you want something to change in your life or whatever, you should just get off the couch and work on it. But, the night of the new year, surrounded by my family (and friends that feel like family) I just couldn't help but get that excitement of the new year and what it brings. So, I made some goals for the year and I feel the only way they are going to get done, is to "publish" them and keep up with them this way. I don't know about you, but I want to do my part in making myself have a stretching, adventurous, exciting, teachable year. Here are my goals for the year... maybe we can help each other with our resolutions, even if it is the second of February. ;)

2015 Resolutions!

· Read 12 books this year (I can easily do this, but I want to read 12 really good books in the year, and that is my plan)

· Purpose to learn more about different religions, history, and art - I am really ignorant in these areas and would like to fix that

· Be more present. - it is so easy for me to look into the future and dream, or miss the days behind me, I want to be present in what is going on in my life right now.

· Write a blog post every two weeks- I have a lot of thoughts and sometimes I am concerned that I may be too much or get boring, but I started this for me, and I want to continue to write what matters to be at the moment.

#getting rations to survive

· Do one thing a month I’ve never done before - it doesn't have to be big, but I must push myself to do different things. This month I dared to try a different smoothie recipe. Yep. Lame, but it still was different and hopefully, I will be more brave in the future.

· Finish Adam and my scrapbook from our dating years 

· Scrapbook wedding and finish 

· Invest in making the apartment homey and cute- be creative and try those Pinterest projects!

· Eat healthy, exercise regularly- don't worry about the weight, be serious about being a better me.

· Journal at least every week- I have ideas and dreams and I want to write that, paper and ink should never be overlooked

· Instagram every day, a picture of my day, then make a booklet of my year in a scrapbook-I want to remember and document my life, the mundane can be beautiful too

· Live with less and let go- buy only what I like, wear what I like, only keep things I love

· Go to either Alaska or BC this year (or both… ;))- Alberta is very close to both, if you didn't know, and they are both on my bucket list of life to go to.. so ya know.. it's gotta happen.

· Drink more water- cut out pop

· Start a money jar with Adam for traveling - for trips, weddings, excursions

· Get serious about being a tea addict - I love tea, but I never know what to get or what to try, so I feel like I should seek out the knowledge. aha!

· Keep up with friends/family (remember birthdays, remember to love them  in a special way 

· Make an Etsy shop- I love Etsy. I want to try at least and see if I can make my love for crafting into something

  Take a class  - I have always wanted to try a class of some sort out.. not sure

   what I will decide..

Well, that's my list. I really want to keep up on it, and I was inspired to really try this year. 

Let me know if you love resolutions or if you hate them, if you have any to share, I would

totally add a few more. ;) 

 

 xo, Your ambitious(at the moment) Hippy 

 “Become major, Paul. Live like a hero. That's what the classics teach us. Be a main character. Otherwise what is life for?” 
― J.M. Coetzee

The Ironic Rabbit Foot

Friend,

I was thinking about you the whole time that I was in the airport. "I gotta blog this" was on the radar as I was in the different airports. I am odd, and actually enjoy being in the airport and the people that are there are fascinating to watch, and, in this case, interact with. 

I was in the line in the Dallas airport to go through customs thinking about this last Christmas and all my happy memories of my last visit, when, a lady a few people ahead of me stares me down. I look at her, then look away, then look back at her and she is still staring. I look at my feet, "No tp on my shoe, I'm good..do I have something on my face?" I pull my mini mirror out of my purse and check- nothing. "Odd... maybe she was just thinking about something else and looking at me??" Then, I realize what'a going on. The lady spoke into her phone and said, 

"Girrrrrll!mmm! You know what I said about girls who don't dress the way they should? Sugar, there is a girl here that can't dress herself. You should see her leggings.. etc etc." 

The guy behind me was sweet enough to say, "I really don't think she knows what she is taking about," as I tried to wrap my mind around what this lady was saying. I smiled and kinda laughed to myself not knowing what would happen next with this sassy lady while pretending I was T-Swift and singing "Shake it Off" in my head. Whatever. Different clothing for different people right? 

The line moves up and I am starting to put my things in bins when the lady, who is now directly across from me now in the aisle, screams at the top of her lungs. Not a cute girl scream, no ladies and gentlemen, a full out "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

For the world to hear. A man in uniform comes over and tells her to settle down while the rest of us take our turn to stare at her. She tells the man that I have a "dead foot" on my bag and that I should be searched. That "dead foot" was a rabbit's foot that my sister gave me as a present before I left. Ironically, rabbit feet are supposed to give people good luck! Ha! So, I am pulled aside and get searched for about 20 minutes. (Why they actually searched me surprises me and not the crazy lady that screamed loud enough for all of Dallas to hear is beyond me..) 

I run to my gate, get there in the nick of time and find my seat, 32B. And guess who's there to welcome me? Crazy lady, who I find out is named Jayda. I can't say that we had the best conversation on the plane, or that we became friends or anything. Actually hardly said a thing to me other than, "you're sitting on my seat belt."  but she did thank me when I requested a blanket for her when she fell asleep on me. 

What this lady didn't know was how much I needed the reminder of "free grace" for my last few months of nannying, this lady was exactly what I needed to start off the year right.

Give grace like you mean it, love people like they deserve it. I'm going to try very hard to live this out every day of 2015. 

Still laughing to myself,

Your Hippy Nomad

 "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.."-Hebrews 12:15

Peter Pan Perplexities

Dear Friend,
This Christmas I was home for the holidays! To say that I was elated would be the best way to describe it as I woke at 4 (okay, okay. I didn't sleep a wink) to get ready to go to the airport with Adam. I knew that this Christmas would be special, it was my last as a "Miss" and I had the bonus of having my fiance with me this year to celebrate. I was not disappointed, everything went well and I enjoyed the time a bit more this year. I had "pause moments" when I would just look at everyone and feel blessed. I tried to make everything go in slow motion, to laugh and to enjoy. I was squeezing the tub of blessing as much as it could go and by doing so coming to a realization that was not all that pleasant; "Life is changing, and  you can't do anything about it," my little brain was telling me, but I didn't want to believe. As a child, I always had a hard time with change. I moved many times and rarely was there constants in my life. The things that were were my family and my faith. So when my wonderful fiance says to me, "...And next year we can have Christmas at my family's house!" My brain goes at it again and says, "NO! I need life to stay how it is!" I realize how unfair that is but I have a hard time letting go. To have another change and to see, ultimately how selfish it all is. My perplexities continue, however, there are men in my sister's lives now. My inner monster is no longer sending warning signals but has been unlocked from it's cage and free to freak. I feel this overwhelming need to shove my sisters into a closet and hoard them to myself. Why? Because these men don't know my sisters! Not like I do! I want to ask them what is so great about these men that they feel the need to date them?!
 My "constants" are now going on dates and (without realizing it) talking quite a lot about these men when they aren't around. Is that jealousy I feel? Then I see the smiles when they receive a text "ping!" from their guy. Or when I see them exchanging sweet looks to each other while they are playing a card game together, or when you see "the look." No one can describe it, but it's the face that these men get when they look at my sisters of "wow, I am dating her". That is when my heart melts, my monster gets locked away, my fist becomes a hug and I realize I'm afraid for my sisters, for myself, to grow up. To have less time together as bigger and better things come our way and we would be absolutely stupid not to jump the next train for.
What I am realizing is, I have a gift. I have memories that no one else has with my sisters. The memories of us holding hands heading into a new scary school knowing we will reconnect at the end of the day and tell our tales of horror or joy. The memories of us having sleepovers in each others rooms, from playing Lego and dolls  together, to sitting and doing homework together, to sharing our innocent hopes and dreams and believing that the other would achieve all that they wished for. Not all change is a perplexity, I know I will cheer wherever life leads us. A Christmas without each other together, a relationship growing, an experience that another can't relate to; these things happen but doesn't change a bond.

I would be lying if I didn't say that every once in awhile I am afraid. The unknown is scary. New adventures and less and less constants are what life is made up of.  We can be afraid and never row or we can be stretched and so we can rely more and more on Him. I am excited, however for the new life that is unfolding for me and for the people around me. I am reminded to stay in the present and enjoy the here and now knowing full well that time goes by quickly, that my Peter Pan perplexities will be met head on, and that the future is bright.

Your nomadic hippy,

Summer

 

“To live will be an awfully big adventure.” - Peter Pan