How I've missed you! This last season has been a stretching one, one that I had to plow ahead alone for awhile, but I am back and hope to honestly tell my story in the future.
Speaking of seasons, some seasons are wonderful. You want to bottle up all the good that has happened and then go and give back some good to the world because your cup feels so full. This last season was not that season. It began with the information that my parents were divorcing, and the wall of security that I once thought I knew crumbled. I was in a daze and selfishly I needed to focus on me and my family. All seasons- though how painful- have silver linings. As I was quietly mourning the "death" of my family, I received God's love in the ways that I never expected. I was brought Brenda, who kindly wrote to me and told me that I could at any time call her to chat and that if I needed her she would be there. Some people say such words and it doesn't mean anything, "I'll come!" and then they flake out. I knew if I asked, Brenda would be there. There was a huge wave of relief! If I needed her, I could call on her. How often I wanted to pick up the phone and call someone- but who? And there she was! Just being a good friend, being considerate. It felt like I was holding my breath, and this lady pulled me up from the waves. Funny enough, I haven't known Brenda long, I haven't even seen her more than three times in my life. We met when I was still in high school as she came to speak at the church we attended and my family hosted her overnight. I was immediately drawn to her honest joy, her serious questions, her genuine interest in my family's lives. When she left we felt lighter- we all said to each other- "We love her!" How can you not love someone who cares so sincerely for you and the people you love most? The second time I saw her was for Adam's and my wedding. She took our pictures for our wedding and she injected joy like a fountain. When there was a pending hurricane outside with our outdoor wedding as we were getting ready; she calmly said "Girl, you are getting married to a wonderful man no matter the weather!" I mean! She was a support system even after she got bit by fire ants getting a picture of me and my bridesmaids. The third time I saw her was for my sister Kilah's wedding and it was as if she had always been in our lives. She's just a gem, I want everyone to have a Brenda in their lives.
It's so hard being in seasons of uncertainty! Of being scared, trying to conceptualize what life will look like, how to move on and take the lessons for later. It doesn't matter if it is a big change or small, it feels huge. A weight that cannot be moved. When people take the time out of their busy lives however, it is an amazing act of sacrifice. Brenda reminds me of how I should take the time to love others genuinely and completely. To be honest with others and in whatever season I am in and use that to grow. Brenda has had hard times, but she doesn't waver when it comes to caring. I want to be that way. I want to be there for you when you are in a valley or a happy hill. To look for opportunity to bless wherever I am! I'm inspired by this godly woman as she lives her life.
I'm grateful for this valley of a season, it's taught me more about my genuine need for Him and for people who uplift and support. May I remember the kindness I have been shown and pour it into other's lives!
In His arms,
Your Wavering Hippie.
"At the roots of the mountains. I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet
you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God."- Jonah 2:6
