I'm a bit of a restless spirit. I have a hard time enjoying routine and spontaneity really calls to me through every day life. The Sunday of last week the speaker says we are going to do something a bit different and have a "prayer Sunday". I was interested, I was pumped. At one point the speaker asks the congregation to share what God has been telling them lately. I listen interestingly while others say things like, "We feel called to go to the mission field...", "He has been showing me that I need to.." etc etc. While this is happening my mind is going in overdrive and I'm asking God, "Hey! What is it that you want ME to do for you God? What is my purpose?" Do you want Adam and I to head to the mission field?" My thoughts begin to be pulled to myself and Adam in a jungle somewhere in the Amazon where I have stumbled across a hopeless child in need of rescuing... My attention gets pulled back into reality as the speaker says, "Now take some time to ask God what it is that He is telling you to do.." Excitedly I repeat what I was talking to God about before,
"Hey God! What do-"
"Summer. Stop."
"What God?! I'm excited! What is it that you-"
"Summer, shhhh."
"But, I-"
"Trust Me."
"That's what you want to tell me? That's it? To trust You?"
"Yes. Trust Me. Trust that where you are is where you are supposed to be, and what you are doing is what you should be doing. Trust Me, Summer. I know what I am doing."
"Who says I'm not? I am aren't I?
"I think we both know that you want your life to feel like it has purpose right now, and it does, but you aren't seeing the big picture daughter. I need you to trust me. Breathe and trust me."
The speaker gets up and asks us to sing and I feel a bit heavyhearted. I know that God wants me to be still and to trust, but those things are hard for me to do. There are changes that are coming about in my life but trusting takes a lot out of me. A lot out of my hands and into His.
Still a bit uneasy with chat with God, I ask Adam what God told him in the service. "Not much really," he says, "He just told me to trust Him..."
Huh. Okay. I get the point, God. No Amazon forests for Adam and I for awhile,but doing something that is a whole lot tougher on me anyway. Trusting that He has a plan.
I love me some humble pie! You can come over and eat it with me if you'd like.
Love your not-so-submissive nomad,
Summer
" Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ." -1 Peter 2:1-5
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