Dear Me

Dear 13 year old Summer,

First of all, I love you. I wish you loved me the way I do now because it really is the better way to live. You are special, you are worth getting to know, and you aren't ugly. You have great talents and, sadly, you are wasting them by being so concerned about what others are thinking about you. There are so many people out there that need you to be less selfish- go impact, not be the norm.

 You will realize again and again that people aren't going to love you the way that they should.... There will be some really great friends, but mostly just duds at this age and they aren't going to care a lick about how things go for you. That isn't to say that you shouldn't be kind to them, because you always should. (always, always be kind to people, Summer. I can't stress this enough. Your character is built on being kind to those who don't deserve it) But, you shouldn't be bothered when you are upset about something and they aren't there for you. Some of it is maturity, but most of it is how you choose your friends..

Speaking of choosing your friends, you have this thing that really isn't a great trait. You love finding people that aren't very nice and being friends with them... Honey, you are going to get burned. Really, really badly. You think that this is a good thing because you are being kind,  but what you are doing is just making yourself have lower self esteem and you believe lies that aren't true about you. Please, stop trying to validate bad behavior because you are letting people walk all over you. It's tough now, but I wish you could see what a benefit it is to surround yourself with people who actually care to ask you how your day was.

Speaking about people who actually care.. there is Mom. You lash out at Mom a lot at this age and I really wish you would stop. She really cares about you and doesn't deserve your anger and frustration, vent it in your fuzzy diary with the lock on it.  She  will be one of your best friends and confidants, but at this age you butt heads. She deserves better... treat her with more respect.

 Boys, don't even go there. I know you are shy at this point about them, and thank goodness for that! Be cool with "just being friends", it's alright to be that. The funny diary entries about Jason are cute though and really kind of hilarious now...you'll end up years later reading them to your sisters and they will snort with laughter, so it's worth it. Just as an fyi, you don't end up with a man from Africa and have mocha babies, but instead you meet your very white best friend and unknowingly fall in like, that falls into love, that falls into engagement and becomes worth all the "you're fat/ugly/stupid" comments that come your way. He really thinks you're great!

Also- I know you want to be mature... I know that you want to "keep up" with the other girls... but you love Disney and dolls and colouring books. And there is nothing wrong with that! You will still like Disney and dolls and colouring books when you are 22. (And be much less ashamed about it at 22!)

Remember to talk to God, ask Him what to do and be brave. Soak up as much as you can about Him. He is your source of joy.
 You are at such a fun age and you have so much that you will learn.You are braver than you think, you are loved more than you know.

Love,

 22 year old Me.