Lately I have been having a very hard tine writing, and now I am here to tell you why. Because I didn't want to be honest and real, and rather light and jokey so everything I wrote ended up looking like something off of my middle school diary entries- nonsensical and mopey. So, here is the truth, (it still may be nonsensical and mopey, but it will be real life.) the month of October was hard. I think as a new wife I feel the need to be in the "honeymoon" stage and let the whole world how much I love my husband, Adam. I do indeed love my husband, more than any other human, but we are officially out of the stage of rainbows and lollipops. October was a month of "oh, that makes me mad!", "so this is what conflict looks like" and "why are the clothes on the floor- again?!". It is an adjustment to be someone's other half. It is an adjustment to humble yourself enough to realize that you have to say sorry first. It is an adjustment to meet the other person's needs before your own.I didn't expect it to be easy, but I also didn't expect it to take as much effort as it did. I was frustrated that I didn't seem to naturally want to give of myself, my time, my love. It bothered me that others seemed to know their spouse so well that they would just get along and in my mind these wives would never be upset at their husbands for leaving their clothes on the floor. ;)
On a particularly low day, I was off to women's Bible study and as I sat in the classroom, one other lady sat down to our normally large group of ladies. She informed me that she was going to be teaching the lesson that day and that we would be waiting a few minutes to start. We sat in silence as I knew this lady to be quiet,elderly, scholarly and a "no nonsense" type; to say the least, I was uncomfortable. As the time ticked by no other ladies showed so she glanced at me over her glasses and we began her study of the "Fall of Man". As I said before, I wasn't having the best of days and as we began to discuss Adam (not the husband, but the first man on earth) and his downfall. I must not have been doing a very good job trying to stay chipper because she stopped and said, "Now Summer, is it?" To in which I looked to her with my plastered on happy face and smiled. She frowned and said, "Are you married? Where are you from? Why are you here in Sexsmith?" Needless to say, we did not get to any more of the notes and just began to talk about our lives. I then realized how badly I had wanted someone to talk to and tell me that it was okay that I wasn't yet the wife I wanted to be. I ended up spilling my guts to this poor lady and she in return listened and gave me some advice. She told me about her late husband and how she learned so much from him, even when he wasn't all that she wanted in him. She also said, "Sometimes you just have to cut some onions and have a good cry. Then get over yourself because you have more important things in life to accomplish than winning the wife of the year award." She went on to say,- Always give as much love to others as you can, then ask God for more;
- Always apologize when you know you are wrong
- Always take time for yourself to reflect on what He is doing
- Always stop and see that conflict should end in resolution and resolution is a beautiful thing
- Always remember you are worth love and kindness.
As I began to walk home, this lady stopped me in her car and insisted she drive me home. I told her how much it meant to me to have her encouragement and for her to ask me how I was. She then replied, "I think many of us forget that to encourage another person in doing good is in turn giving us joy in the process."
May this upcoming month be real and raw and a chance for us to encourage those around us and let ourselves be encouraged.
Your not-so- perfect nomad,
Summer
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." -Hebrews 10:23-25
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