Friends Who Brush Together, Stick Together.

Dear Friend,
I have always been a loud mouth. I remember many first days of school and repeating this phrase over and over in my head, "Don't say anything, just observe and be quiet... Don't say anything, just observe and be quiet! Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet!" It never worked though. I would lock my stuff in the locker and have to talk to the girl beside mine to help me (this happened too many times. In high school, I made a friend because of it. I think she felt bad about how incapable I was) or I would have to pipe in for an idea in some class--because you know, I'm a loud mouth and I want to be heard and I want you to like me!
And though I am a loud mouth, and being a loud mouth helps one become noticed, I have realized that there are certain things that happen in our lives with our friendships.
 We all get tired.
"Tired of friends?!" You ask?
Well, sure, maybe that too, but we get tired of trying. Even us loud mouths get tired of trying to make friends and want to give up. We all miss those days when we were younger and we could be hanging out with a random kid and after you follow them down the slide you are bffs for life. Growing up shows us that friendships get harder; harder to maintain and it gets harder and harder to open up.

Me and Charissa- aka Toothpaste Girl ;)

I remember my first day of college, I was very close to puking as I tried desperately not to look like I wanted friends. I was doing the whole, "Don't say anything, just observe and be quiet..." but mostly it was this, "Don't say anything stupid, Dont say anything stupid!" Darn it Summer! You messed up! You totally freaked that girl out with saying HI like you just drank a Red Bull in two gulps! " I remember brushing my teeth and feeling rather stupid about pretending not to want friends and all and as I was ranting to myself I saw a girl in a pink pj set with very swish blonde hair and I said, "HEY! I'm Summer! I don't think I met you yet!" This swish blonde haired girl looked at me with her mouth full of toothpaste and, after she spit, said,
"Hi. I'm Charissa."
Nothing more, nothing less. I was sure she hated me and I literally wanted to be her spit so I could sink into the drain. I remember thinking she was way too cool for me and that I should have never said hi. Losers say hi etc etc. As I went to bed that night I resorted to stuffing my face in a pillow and crying my guts out. This story ends well as this swish girl and I awkwardly said, "Hey..." to each other which lead us to talking about how we both were pastor's kids and nomads, which ended up being one of the best friendships that I still have today.
Now, why did I tell you this long, heartfelt story of my bestie? Because every friendship takes work and it needs to start with someone making the first (potentially very awkward) move.  I want to remember what a journey it was to become so close to someone. It took time, and effort, and  bonding, and being real and caring about that other person.
I have realized in myself that I struggle with new beginnings. I struggle trying to make friends and be real and open myself up and let people see me for who I am- ultimately a big mess that needs God more than anything else.
I have realized that others want to be friends with you but have this same problem, the problem of being open. To not shut off others, to not say, "Meh! I have a great group of friends already.." or to not be willing to get past what we initially think of others. When we close ourselves off to developing friendships, we close ourselves off to wonderful potential.
Now, not all the people we get to know will be our kindred spirits. I think we are blessed if we get to meet even one person that we have that connection with and it lasts. All I am saying is that though I have been in many circumstances where I was the new girl and have been very tired of trying again to make friendships- it's all worth it in the end. We are called to "loved our neighbor as our own selves"... I think that also means that we are called to get to know our neighbors and invest in the lives that are around us. To not waste time being friendly but aloof.

So, will you join me in being awkward and making the first move? Getting out there as we continue to grow up and friendships need to be sought out? I heard brushing your teeth beside someone makes you friends...

Your overly friendly nomad,

Summer

"What is a friend? I will tell you . . . . it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself."-Frank Crane