Big Dreams Can Be Yellow Houses

Dear Friend,
I have been doing a lot of goal setting, introspection, and reading a lot of self-help books as of late. I recently stumbled across a book called, "Girl, Stop Apologizing" by Rachel Hollis and instinctively snatched it up. In my head I was saying, "Girrrrlll, I'm Canadian! That's what I do!" , but began to read and (though there are some things I don't agree with) began to love what she was saying. If you want something, stop thinking so much about it and get going. There! You don't even need to read the book! ;) There is a part of the book that asks you to define your ten dreams that you have for your overarching ONE GOAL. Now, you best be knowing that I was there with my notebook ready and rearing to go! Imagine me with my messy high bun and crazy eyes as I hunched over this little notebook as I began to form my "Who do I want to be in ten years" note. Before I even began putting pen to paper, however, I had a flashback to a part of my childhood I would like to reference.

Mr. Lima was my 7th grade art teacher who was cool and funny. I was living in Brazil at this time and being an outcast in my class and still learning Portuguese, art became therapy. You dont have to speak in art class, you are allowed to be as moody as you want in art class, and if people don't understand your work, well, that means you are a true artist. I remember one specific day where Mr. Lima told us to get large pieces of white paper and draw our dream houses. Whatever our hearts desired, and then we would present our pictures at the end of the week. I, taking all assignments seriously, took the rest of the class to think of what I would want. The end of the week came and we were all to present our homes. I still remember the feeling I had when others got up and had drawn mansions with tide pools and gold plated doors. There were waterfalls in the living rooms, there were gumball machines in bedrooms and there was no room for want! I was mortified. I did the assignment wrong! It was my turn to present and my hands were sweaty. My crush was at the back of the class looking with anticipation as to what I had  to show. (His house had a huge basketball court in it-- our love was never meant to be) I hold up my picture and squeaked out, "Uhm, here is my yellow house." I looked over to my cool art teacher and he looked a little baffled. Clearly noting my distress he asked, "So, Summer, take your time and describe your house to us." A simple picture, with a yellow house on the right side with flowers in flower beds in front. A dirt road that led to the house and a big yard where I had drawn my pug and horses in the distance in the  neighbor's yard with a fence. (I knew that I liked horses but didn't want to have to take care of them) "This is, uhm, my dream house. I uhm, know it's simple (glancing at Crush at the moment and his face shows confusion- I. am.dead.) but it is in the country and I can grow a garden and have a dog." The class was silent until Mr. Lima said, "Is that all you have? This is your dream house?" I mumbled something inaudible and sat down wanting to throw my paper away right then and there with tears being blinked away.

What I wish I could have said was, "Yeah, Mr. Lima! This is my dream house! I love it and took lots of time to think of what my dream house would be and I am proud of my house and my dreams!" I think there was a reason why my flashback was a negative one where others didn't see my dreams. That was a moment where I was showing a part of me and the reaction was negative. How true is that for all of us? I am sure what we have felt at some point like our dreams and goals are seen as not good enough. But, in the long run, it doesn't matter what your Mr. Lima says, does it? It doesn't matter that your basketball loving Crush doesn't get it either, does it? No, it may feel like those people's opinions matter but they don't. We all have dreams and we all have big goals! Most likely there will be people that will be confused but you don't have to explain it to them. The people that you share those thoughts with should be supportive and excited for you and help you on your journey! I have a friend who sends me houses that one day I would like to live in! I love that she sees my goals and knows that it can be obtained.

After my That's-So-Raven moment of a flashback, I wrote my goals and dreams down, without worry or outside bias. I was specific and am now excited for the next ten years of me obtaining those goals! I hope that you too will be honest with your own self and the things that God has shown you to pursue. I'll tell you this- I still have that yellow house on my list!

Your Hippie,

Summer