It's Okay to Stay

Dear Friend,

We were in the car, my friend and I, just driving on a sunny day when the question was asked, "Do you really think you will stay on the Island forever?" I, not one to really take the time to contemplate, responded with a, "Of course!" and the conversation eased into another subject- but the question continued to rattle inside my head for the next few days. While out with another friend, doing another activity, she asked almost the same question, "Sum, do you feel like you and Adam will stay here for awhile?" My heart flipped. I felt a lot of feelings in that moment as I exclaimed, "Funny! **** just said the same thing to me just a few days ago!"
After I said my goodbyes to my friend, I sat in my living room and contemplated. Why did I dislike what I had just been asked? Why are my friends concerned that I'll be gone? Do I want to be here? Does Adam want to be here?

The thoughts invaded my head and I was letting my mind go to images of my childhood of packing boxes, teary goodbyes,  and the final look at our houses through our volvo car window. The relief I had that I had my two best friends with me wherever I went, sisters, who felt the unease and the stress that I did as well. (truly the best gifts my parents gave me were my sisters) I vowed to my twelve year old self that I would be back here, eventually to make a home. Now, however, I anticipate a move, a change, a calling elsewhere. There must be something wrong? I am a nomad am I not?

Friend, I have been projecting unease to my friends. I can't imagine ever STAYING anywhere. I laughingly told Husband that the idea of staying means a lot of work. That means, no burning bridges, that means long term friendships and responsibility I have never imagined in my life. It also means stability, community, and value. Things that I would combat with adventure, excitement and story in my former life. I am so very grateful for my life before, even proud of the fact that I have never stayed in one spot longer than four years. I have seen, been changed, and have a deeper understanding of the world now that I have been immersed in different cultures and lives.
But.
It is okay to stay.
As the seasons continue to change with my family, my mother moving, my sister and husband moving, I have the "itch" to go and I feel FOMO as they pack and go off on adventures. Fear of becoming boring or worse, losing my purpose along the way.
I related these thoughts to Husband and, like he always seem to do, he calmed my mind. He said, " We are happy, we are growing and we are learning. These are the things we should focus on."
Who knows what the future holds, we may have many more moves in us yet, but for now, staying is beautiful.
 My unease comes from the uncertain, but isn't uncertainty an adventure as well? Isn't creating home a worth while purpose? I believe so.

Now, join with me and together we will go and strive and continue to work on ourselves wherever our steps take us. My home is open for you to come in and stay awhile.

Your nomad no more?

Summer 

"To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition, the end to which every enterprise and labour ends." -Samuel Johnson