I'm engaged! And I'm super pumped about being so that I thought I would write about what I have learned while being in the "dating phase" of a relationship. This might just be a good reflection time for me, but maybe these things you can relate to or even be helpful for you for your relationships in general. What can I say? Love is on my mind... ;)
General Things That You should remember..
- Being you is a whole lot harder to do when you really want the other person to like you, but it is worth staying you. Why be with someone that doesn't like you? If you have watched the Lion King so many times that you can recite it, you best be honest because they are going to look over anyway and realize you are saying Pumba's lines anyway right?
- Kindness is never something one should forget about once you are in a relationship. This person is dating you because they like you and want to get to know who you are better, which means they are giving up their time and a lot of energy to focus on you. Be kind always knowing they don't have to date you, but choose to. (side note- this goes for ex's too. Don't diss your ex's or be rude about them to others, they too deserve respect. Opening your heart to others is never easy, and realizing you aren't meant for each other is a hard thing to be brave enough to express)
- Facebook statuses and other forms of social media aren't indicators of a fabulous relationship, sometimes it is just the opposite
- Be honest, always.
- Praying for "your person" should always be at the top of your to do list. They need direction and guidance as much as you do, and you don't ever want to do something without His guidance. Trust me. ;) Besides, what a compliment it is to know that you are being prayed for. (My dad prayed for his wife since he was a young boy, and I think it is fair to say that God approved the woman he prayed for.)
General Things MEN should remember:
- Being a gentleman is always sweet. Even the most independent woman will appreciate a door being held open for her.
- Girls notice when you are nice to other girls. How you treat others matters a lot to women and shows a lot of what your character is like. Side note- women like good looking men, but they talk to their friends about the one who helped Jill pick up her papers when she dropped them. *swoon*
- Be nice to our friends. Even if you have no idea why we would be friends with a girl who is so emotional/needy/strange. We love our gal pals, and you'll be happy later that we have them. Promise.
- Paying attention to details will help you a lot. She says she wants to go to that restaurant sometime? If you surprise her and take her to the restaurant- major win.
- Listening will get you far. When we are upset, a lot of the time, we just need you to listen, not fix.
- Girls are all different. Get to know yours and show her that you care about what she likes and encourage her dreams.
- Girls need acts of love. If they are into flowers, buy it! If they love old movies, rent one! If they are into rock concerts, get the mullet! (Kidding... please dont get a mullet...)
- Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries are going to need to be remembered....sorry, but they are a big deal even if we say they aren't. They are!
- The whole "woman are from Disney land" is because we all want our man to be the man and to be our hero. There are many different types of heroes, but the best are the ones that pursue, take time to appreciate, and cherish their lady for who she is.
General Things WOMEN should remember:
- Don't negative talk your man in front of others, your parents, your hairstylist. If you have an issue, talk to him.
- It's a good thing that men are less sensitive to feelings--- we don't all want to cry when a animal shelter commercial comes on, lets be real now.
- Guys wont admit it, but they like cheesy. Not all the time, but being caring and considerate is sweet. You can take him out on a date sometimes too!
- Let your man be a man. You need girl time, and he needs guy time, and most likely that will be with other guys who also want to do guy stuff. You want your bf to have friends. I promise.
- Don't generalize. Your man is different from other guys and that doesn't mean that your guy loves to watch sports, eat meat, play COD and have "no emotions".
- Men need verbal affirmation. We joke about their egos and such, but truly he needs to know that you think he is great.
- Do something that is only for his entertainment more than three times a year. Go bike riding, watch the Leaf's game, play the LOTR board game. Make an effort to make him happy. It isn't all about you and what you want.
- Encourage his likes and passions. He needs someone else to like what he is doing or engaging in. (If he knows all the characters to Downton Abbey and you still don't know the name of his favorite author, there is something very wrong)
- Clingy-ness is for the weak! You should be able to trust your guy to have an evening where he doesn't have to call you every hour by the hour. Clingy girls might make him feel needed at first, but that wears off really fast.
- Men aren't complicated, but they also have feelings. Respect is huge for them and if you don't respect them, they will have a very hard time loving you.
- The whole thing that "Men are from boot camp" is that they are meant to be a little rough around the edges and that is a good thing. They are supposed to be men and women are supposed to appreciate that they go and "fight" for us knowing that they will be proud of their efforts.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.- 1 Peter 4:8
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
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Your Hippy Nomad,
Summer
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