The Hippie Nomad: Mommy Twice Overs and Other No No's.

Dear Friend,
I just have to say right now that I am in love with Gordon the baby boy I get to hang out with Monday through Friday. He really is wonderful and I love how he is my buddy. We get each other. He doesn't like spaghetti squash and I don't like it when he spits out his food to my face, so we compromise... no more spaghetti squash... unless we have it mixed in something and he has no idea what he is eating! (I know, I know, I am so devious) It is so fun and rewarding already to read books to him, go for walks, cuddle him to sleep, and watch him attempt to crawl. ( imagine a slug... he looks like that when he tries)

There have already been things that I have learned from this job. Hence, this blog post. My first lesson as a nanny that was an interesting one. It was when I was walking Gordon in the stroller on my first week. I was pointing out birds and making weird faces to baby (because you can look like a crazy person when you have a baby in your midst and it is acceptable.. I believe some have children just for this reason! ;) ) and then it happened. The Mommy Twice Over. Now, let me explain. The "once over" you probably are familiar with. This is when a woman (usually... men are caught too sometimes!) sweeps her eyes over you from head to toe in a few seconds. You will be judged accordingly. (But, don't worry, even if you are wearing the cutest outfit, sometimes ladies will still not smile at you) The "Mommy Twice Over" takes practice because you only have a few seconds of staring down that you can do without coming off too rude. The eyes sweep over your head to toe (sadly, I was wearing an old sweater and jeans-- X on that) , then do a double take at the left hand and bling that should be present with a baby in a stroller (X on that too..) then the sweep over of your baby. (covered up, check! cute outfit? check!, not crying? check!). This looksie over happened the first time and I believed I had something on my face (most likely I did-- Gordon loves to play, "how dirty can I get nanny"! ;) ) or that Gordon was just cute and they wanted to look at him. (Honestly, he is. I feel like a proud nanny knowing that he is ;) )Then it happened again... and again... and again with different ladies. I then realized what was going on. My first response is to start running with the stroller to get home and not deal with these looks that reminded me of my middle school years! (In their defense, in middle school I had a few interesting outfits!) However, I had a long way back home and me looking crazed as I run the stroller home would not be pleasant either. My second option was to do it right on back-- which didn't work because, well, when you hit someone after they hit you-- does that ever do any good?
I came up with a solution to this "twice over"; you stop them midway! I began speaking to the ladies who were giving me the "twice over" with a "What a lovely day!" or a "Your baby is so cute!" or something like that... anyway, these ladies would be forced to stop looking at my crazy curly hair and respond, even if it was just a polite nod. Truly ladies, (and men) we can do better! Let's not judge and realize that we don't know each other's lives. We can connect in the fact that perfection is never obtained by having the right jogging pants or gluten free mum mum snacks. That we as humans have a lot more in common than we think we do! It was exhilarating to stop the looking and start actually walking with the attitude of being pleasant to those around me. I am sure that Gordon appreciated that I didn't run either... he might have ended up in a ditch accidentally!

I had another awkward moment the other day (no surprise there!) when I took Gordon to the store to buy some supper foods. A man, about mid sixties, comes up to me and does the "twice over" but clearly was not a pro yet because he was very obvious about it. I tried my, "How's it goin'?" and moving on, but he spoke up. He said, "Ma'am, do you realize that your life could have been so much better and easier if you had waited to have a baby with a husband around?!" My hand stopped midway to the lettuce and I just turned and looked at him. I was so surprised that I I stated awkwardly, "Oh, uhm, I am a nanny... he isn't mine..." Going beet red he apologized and rushed to get away. I had to say something though and found him in the check out. I told him that he hurt my feelings even though it happened that Gordon wasn't my baby and that yes, having two parents is better. I also said that even if he was mine, that I am sure I would know the difficulties that I would have as a single parent and maybe instead of going with that approach, next time using a kinder tactic... maybe not using that line at all. "Judgement can't be used until we get into their shoes".